WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR EX’S NAME TATTOOED ON YOUR BODY
You’re in L-O-V-E. Everything he does is adorable. She’s sooo hot and smart to boot. You both got so lucky, you want to physicalize the “foreverness” of your love. You go to the tat parlour together and tattoo your beloved’s name on the most visible part of your body like your neck or your face. You don’t even think about it because you’re sure you’ll be together forever.
Yes, pheromones, oxytocin, dopamine and all those other luv hormones will block your mind
from making any kind of smart decision. After all, it’s the HONEYMOON phase and everything is just…sweet. Logic doesn’t enter your magical world until…THE BREAKUP.
That’s when you’re stuck with your Ex’s name on your body…forever. This is a whole different kind of “foreverness”; definitely, not the good kind.
There are a few “feely” questions you have to answer first:
1- How do I feel when I look at it? 2- How do I feel when my new lover looks at it? 3- How do I feel when my family & friends look at it?
Final decision question: Should I keep it or remove it?
Let’s go over these questions to help you decide how to deal with this hormone-induced aftermath.
Feely question # 1: How do I feel when I or look at it?
The way you feel when you look at it depends on how the relationship ended.
If it ended well, the tat will remind you to call him and say hi, or it will bring up the good memories and put a smile on your face. If it ended badly, it’ll remind you to never date someone like that ever again, a lesson engraved in your body about what red flags to pay attention to on your next dating experience.
There are gray areas too. Maybe it did end well but it was such a magical yet tumultuous relationship that the sole memory of it gives you a panic attack. If this is the case, every time you take your clothes off and look in the mirror, you’ll be reminded of the magic and the storm. Nakedness will now be equated with emotional upheaval. It takes longer than usual to heal from these types of relationships so a complete laser removal is probably the best solution. Even after you heal, why would you want to be reminded of your “fairy tale gone bad”? If you’re a strong person and don’t trip every time you see your Ex’s name in the mirror, then covering it up with another tat is a great solution. Just be aware that modifying an old tattoo requires the new tattoo to be 50 percent larger and it needs a new focal point on healthy skin tissue. Johnny Depp had his “Winona Forever” tattoo turned into a “Wino Forever” one. He’s now more into Wines than he ever was into Winona. And that’s awesome.
If you’re the type who loves to use your body as a storybook of your life, then by all means keep it. Seek professional help if needed as it will be harder to heal with your Ex’s name tattooed on your body. It’s fun to picture oneself as an old person trying to convince young people that you were once a hot young stud who had names of hot girls tattooed on his neck. Hopefully, you’ll be able to stretch your neck so they can read it because seeing is believing.
Feely question # 2: How do I feel when my new lover looks at it?
If you’re more on the confident side, you’ll wear it like a badge of honor. If you’re more on the insecure side, you’ll keep asking your partner if he’s comfortable with you having the Ex tat. You’ll also keep telling him that you’re willing to remove it if he asks you to do so.
Even with a non jealous new partner, chances are he/she will request an explanation of WHY you still have your Ex’ name as a tramp stamp. To your new partner, your Ex’s name marked on your body is like the “mark of the beast”, especially since THEY are the ones who get to look at it the most. To be reminded of Satan every time your new flame sees you naked is definitely not a great way to start a new relationship. It can cause resentment, doubts, anger and even fear of losing you to your Ex! Then you’re setting yourself up for another breakup, which in turn will feed your fear of dating to the point where you’ll find yourself considering joining a monastery.
If you choose to get it removed, you will eradicate one more “dating issue” out of your love life. If you choose to keep it, you’ll have to get lucky and find a very strong, understanding partner who understands you don’t want to get it removed for fear of allergic reactions and infections or any other valid reason other than you’re still emotionally involved with your Ex.
Feely question # 3: How do I feel when my family & friends look at it?
If they never liked your Ex, they’ll try to remove the tat in your sleep. If they liked her, they will guilt trip you about losing the best thing that ever happened to you. Either way, HIDE the tat from your family, even if it means wearing a horrendous, uncomfortably hot turtle neck.