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  • Grace Fraga, The Relationship Guru

SURVIVING A NASTY DIVORCE

#love #relationships #breakups #brokenheart #divorce

OK, so NOTHING works. You take the next step....you file for divorce. Then the filing turns into fighting. Anger escalates and gets so out of control, it’s now a DIVORCE WAR.





Let the NASTY TRICKS begin! Next thing you know, your wife hires a sleazy lawyer to get an “order of protection” to prevent you from seeing the kids as a “negotiating tool tactic”. It’s nasty, messy and you’re mad as hell. Mad at your soon to be ex-wife. Mad at your soon-to-be-ex in-laws. Mad at her friends. Mad at your friends. Mad at your kids. Mad at yourself. Mad at The President, even though you voted for him. Mad at God for giving you such a shitty wife.


Anger generates anger and if you fuel it, you will have irrational reactions. Your actions will make your Ex even angrier and meaner. Take a walk, go to the gym, talk to a confidant, and enroll in an anger management seminar.

Seeing the worst come out of the man or the woman you loved is awful and scarring, but seeing the worst come out of YOURSELF is just plain horrifying. You start by hacking his account, then move to burning the clothes he left behind and the next thing you know, you find yourself slashing the tires of his brand new Lexus. Even if orange is the new black, it’s safer to stay OUT of jail. Trust me, you don’t wanna end up being some thug’s bitch, even if he/she treats you better than your Ex is treating you now.

The most important way to survive a divorce is to always keep a sense of being fair to yourself and your soon to be Ex. Anger and resentment tend to give us a sense of entitlement to your house, your kids, your car, your bank account. Keep in mind that while you were together, you were PARTNERS and no one is entitled to EVERYTHING. Your job is to be able to accept the reality of what’s happening and compromise. Until your divorce is final, you’re still partners in some kind of weird way as the partnership is not officially severed. Keeping that in mind will keep you out of the slammer.

During these tough times, you're going to think fun vengeful thoughts. Like bringing the kids back to her late and showing up with your new, young supermodel girlfriend. Parading you richer, smarter, gorg, fab new younger man in front of your loser Ex. If these thoughts remain fantasies, then you're OK. However, if you go through with them and you get pleasure out of them, they might escalate to more evil revenge. "Don't get mad, get evil" is a fun concept but in the long run, it will only hurt YOU.

If you can't keep you anger under control, then seek professional help. If you can’t afford a therapist, find divorce groups in your area. You will not only get emotional support but it’s a great place to find vulnerable people who, like you, are looking for rebound sex.

The most important thing is to not let yourself go! Don’t let anger, hurt, sadness, confusion, frustration and resentment make you look ugly. Take care of your body with a balanced diet, daily exercise and extra sleep. Also, Netflix comedies cause laughter IS the best medicine. It’s a scientific fact that laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts your energy, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this over the counter drug is fun, free, and easy to use!


Last but not least, the healing process begins. Learn to accept the situation so that grieving your marriage can begin. Rebuild your life as an independent individual who doesn’t need to be validated by a spouse. The healing begins with acceptance and ends with forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness of an Ex is magical, it releases you of the anger and opens you up to peace.



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