- GRACE FRAGA
BREAK-UP - THE GRIEVING STAGES (PART 2)
Updated: Dec 13, 2020
STAGE 2: I’M MAD AS ALL HELL AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to skip the anger stage. If you’re the dumpee, you’re mad at the dumper for giving up on you and breaking your heart. If you’re the dumper you’re angry that she didn’t turn out to be the woman she showed herself to be in the first 6 months of the relationship. Everyone is mad.
Anger makes you do some really stupid things. Like hacking your Ex’s email account to see who he’s dating. Or driving by his house at 4am and slashing the tires of his brand new beamer. Or standing under her window at 3am while reading a personalized hate poem, then throwing a rock at her window and running away to your car.
All of these kray kray reactions will get you some action in the joint. If you’re too pretty for jail, please count sheep before you embark in these hate love crimes.
If calling your friends, crying to break up songs, boxing and punching bags at the gym doesn’t cut it, please seek professional help. Better to pay a shrink to get your head in order than to pay an attorney to get your ass out of jail.
Also, make sure that you don’t misdirect your anger at the Starbucks barista because he didn’t put enough foam on your cappuccino. Or at the dry cleaners for shrinking your clothes. Chances are the pants don’t fit because you’ve been digging into that delicious Rocky Road Hageen Daaz way too many times. By the way, opening and closing the freezer door doesn’t count as a workout.
Anger management is way overrated. However, you should get your anger out in a healthy way, deal with it and let it go. “But Grace”, you say, “easier said than done.” I’ve found that the ONLY way to release my anger into the ether is to FORGIVE. Forgiveness doesn’t have an arrival date but the only way you can get to it is by focusing on LOVE rather than HATE. These two feelings are two sides of the same coin so just flip the damn coin and move on to the next stage. Oh, the fun!
What to do
-Express the anger in writing or vlogs ONLY for your private viewing. Look how ugly you look when you’re angry and avoid that face in public.
-Work with a therapist if you feel overwhelmed by anger.
-Channel your anger into productive endeavors like cleaning your closet, getting rid of those size 4 old clothes you’ll never wear again in this lifetime and donate them to Goodwill.
-Focus on forgiveness and love. Every time you have angry thoughts, think pretty thoughts.
What not to do
-Stalk, rob or kill your Ex.
-Avoid speaking to your Ex as you will say really hurtful things that you do mean but then regret you said them. You don’t want to be officially known as the asshole in the relationship as I guarantee you, your Ex will make sure he tells all his friends.
For more information on GRIEVING, click this article! I highly recommend it :) https://inlpcenter.org/stages-of-grieving-take-the-steps-to-a-resourceful-life/